THOUGHTS - "All Aboard! "

August 18, 2005

The engineer grasped his shovel and sunk it into the small pile of coal behind him."Only 10 more miles to the depot. I know we can get there on time." He fed that coal to the fiery steam engine as fast as he could. "Faster, faster," he said, as if to encourage the engine. "We lost time with all those stops but I think we can still make it." Just as the train bulled around a broad right hand curve seventy miles south of Denver the engineer's breath stopped. Every muscle in his body instantly tightened as he caught a glimpse of the immense boulder that had fallen onto the tracks no more than ten seconds ahead. With every fiber in his physique he pulled back on the brake handle, willing it to the floor. He fought and fought but it was to no avail. The impending collision occurred and the backbone of the train was thrown off the tracks. The engineer survived, albeit with a few emotional scars. But as for the train, only time and a lot of work would return it to the tracks.

This proceeding tale describes the denouement of my last season, though with slightly more colorful language :-) Coming off of injuries always takes more work than being healthy since training momentum is starting at zero. I knew a fresh start was in order and my team and I set out to lay the plans. That was six months ago................ Alright, before I start writing another update that goes on like Moby Dick, please allow me to write the Cliff Notes version. (That's the only way I'll ever get this finished!) Instead of the blow by blow version of every noteworthy event in my life I'm going to share the underlying themes.

As far as I'm concerned that's what really matters and where all the details get dissolved down to anyways. My largest challenge can be summed up in one word: cycles. Typical progress in sport goes up and down but always moving forward, similar to a wave pattern. Somehow my cycles tend to be complete loops as I move forward! So in other words I seem to go backwards before I go forwards again. I think I'm on my fourth cycle so far this year. Honestly, I'm somewhat confused by it. I don't seem to yet be intelligent enough to straighten out my loopy cycles (either that or I'm too intelligent. There's not much difference between the two as far as performance goes :-) There exists a very thin line between making necessary changes and knowing when to stick with the same thing and ride it out. I by no means have walked this wire without falling off. I keep my balance by making the best decisions I can at the moment and keep walking forward. One recently completed project of mine that I'm very excited about is a training log to keep daily track of my progress. Even though the results may not be fun to look at, staying accountable to progress is my quickest way to move forward. Now is my time so I'm keeping the flame close to my heels:-)

I've competed three times now with my new programs and have used each experience to tweek my elements to compete better in the new system. I love the immediate feedback that I get from the printouts of the judges marks. What follows is my quick review of each competition. 1) Broadmoor Open: I remember how much I enjoyed myself while performing at this competition. I knew I wasn't in peak condition so I decided to simply love the feeling of skating. 2) Liberty Open: Lessons in humility. This was an example of the backwards part of the before mentioned looply cycles. Can we say, "OOOOOOps!" 3) Skate Detroit: I got my Mojo back baby, Yeah! My triple axels resurfaced and I was reminded of how well I can skate.

Over the last few months I've begun to get a better understanding of my talents. By talents I mean patterns of thinking and certain skills that I have hardwired inside me. I realize more now that my uniqueness and the strengths/weaknesses that I have are assets; that my Creator did not make mistakes when He put me together. I guess I must be growing up! It finally clicked inside of me that any pursuit, be it figure skating or business et cetera, is not played on a level playing field, and I'm okay with that! No one is born with the same talents and tools to work with. I'd like to share with you my new favorite quote. I have it printed on the cover of my training log along with the trademark for the 2006 Olympics:

“Self-Reliance”
“There is a time in every man’s education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better, for worse, as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given him to till. The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

So in short, I'm enthusiastically living my life! I'm constantly involved in challenges that push me to become more than I was the day before if I want to overcome them. And boy, do I ever want to overcome them! Tomorrow morning I'll be going back to my semi-isolated training regimine and you may not hear from me for a while. But for those of you who have stuck it out with me over the long haul I'm sure you're used to that by now. Whenever you feel the urge please write or show your support in any way you are able. If you are reading this you are one the great people who are giving me the momentum to drive forward. I count on you more than you know and I appreciate you greatly.

Love,
Ryan

Return to Thoughts Index