journal

Note from FSO:  The following entry contains language that may be offensive to some readers.

Monday, March 6, 2006

Title: "OY"
 
Hi Everyone-

Thank you so much for coming to the website. I want to start by thanking everyone who has supported me the past month or so. It's been a really tough time for me, and every positive e-mail, letter or message is so appreciated. Thank you.

So I've decided to start naming my entries. The title of this one is "Oy." I'll cover the Olympic Games and what's coming up for me.

I really don't know where to begin with the Olympics. It was magical yet abysmal, fun yet boring and so many other adjectives. I suppose the skating would be a nice place to start. Practices went reasonably well the whole time I was there. I nailed quadruple toeloops and quad triple combinations every practice, and I really felt good. I think the first mistake I made was listening to the federation and arriving about one and a half weeks before my event even took place. Practices were good, but training in your own rink and training in front of media and your competitors for an extended time are quite different. You work, but maybe not as hard as you can so you don't let other people see that you get tired. Sweat and fatigue are very taboo in figure skating I think (Note to self, something to look into.). My short program was good. I didn't attend the draw but I knew I skated right in the middle, and that was a good placement. I was so excited to have my family at the arena, and so excited to perform on Olympic ice. I skated okay, not the best I could, and came in second place. I felt I was a little bit slow and unemotional, and I got sloppy in the straightline step sequence. I had achieved a new personal best with my scores, and I was very happy. I set myself up very well for the free program. I don't even remember too much about my free program. I remember the warm-up more than anything. When the final group of men took the ice it was like a bomb went off. The audience was so loud, and they didn't quiet down until the warm-up ended. It was surreal. I don't remember ever being in such an electric building. I skated third after the warm up, after Zhenya Plushenko and Stephane Lambiel. I started out well with triple axel/triple toe and two other jumping passes, neglecting to do the quad because the pressure was too immense. The program started to unravel after the first minute. I lost my focus, felt insecure about what I was going to do next, and I lost it. I couldn't find my composure at all. I wish for my own mental state I could realize why or how I let myself go, but it's another great mystery to me. After the program, I was pissed. I couldn't remember what my first Olympic freeskate felt like, I missed jumping passes and on top of my own feelings and hatred for all things Olympic, I had America on my shoulders. I wound up placing sixth in the free program and fifth overall, and I realize I very easily could have stood on that podium, but I didn't. Thus ends the skating portion of "Oy."

I somehow created a media frenzy while I was in Torino. I heard that 20.8 million Americans tuned in to watch my free program. Oh joy! :) From my first press conference in Italy on, I knew that Olympic media coverage was different. There were so many newspapers, television stations, radio stations and crazy internet people represented. All I did was be myself. I have read a lot of the articles about me, many good ones, but of course there are the bad ones. I realized that the majority of people and reporters watch skating only during the Olympics, so most people weren't aware with the way I do things. I got brow beaten for it. If I read one more article scrutinizing my sexuality, my fashion sense or why I'm so "flamboyant," I'll scream. The thing is, the majority of the articles were positive or at least had a positive spin, until I lost America's medal. After the free program I was a loose cannon, a "fag," a disgrace, among other things. I'm sticking to the fact that I can only make myself happy or proud, and no matter what I still have talent. I was in Us Weekly, People magazine, I was invited to Elton John's Oscars party, Rosie O'Donnell wrote me, I'll be on MTV coming up as well as a Kathy Griffin comedy special, and popularity wise I'm doing pretty good, but once people forget about these Olympics it will die down again. With my first experience of Olympic media over, I think I'll be a little more cautious next time.

The actual games were thrilling. I loved being around so many other athletes from so many nations. It was a very intense atmosphere in the village, but it worked well. The Opening Ceremonies were phenomenal. Seeing Pavarotti was a once in a lifetime kind of thing, and I'm so grateful that I got to see him. I loved seeing the other skating events. The pairs were especially exciting. I didn't have time to go to any other non-skating events because my media schedule was so hectic, but I had time to party at Russia House. Bosco sponsored the house and it was beautiful. I was actually in the NY Times just for partying, I'd make Paris proud! I didn't get into the trading thing too much, but I traded my white coat from the opening ceremonies with a cross country skier from Kazakhstan. My family being there really made me happy. My brother and father had never really seen me skate live, so having them travel to Europe for the first time, see me skate and go and do their own things was great. Sharing the games with many of my skating friends was great too. So many of us were in our first Olympic Games and we all have known each other forever and it was great to be there with everyone. Overall the Olympics were a great experience, but next time, I want them to be perfect.

After the Games I travelled to Paris, Madrid and Zaragosa to do some shows for Champions On Ice. I took a train to Paris very early the day after the exhibition in Torino with Sokolova, Totmianina, Marinin, Grushina, Goncharov, and Petrenko. Max had to put all my luggage on the train for me because I was moving too slow and my bags were too big and numerous. The show was a little unorganized, but we all ended up having a great time and skating great. The morning after the Paris show we all flew to Madrid and then took a train to Zaragosa. There was a hole the entire length of the ice. Everyone had to jump over it in the middle of their programs. The organizers had put a carpet down on one end of the ice for live singers, and I didn't know about it, so of course I jumped over the hole, landed on the carpet and BAM! Down I went, I got tangled in blue carpet and somehow found my way out and continued on. It was definitely in the "Top Ten Funnies" of my career. Somewhere in between the shows I got really sick. I'm actually still fighting the nasal stuff and coughing, but I think I'll be okay by Worlds. I finally flew home on March 1st. I'd been in Europe since February 3rd, and I was so ready to get home and back to normality. I hacked and wheezed the whole way home and got off the plane, looking stunning as you can imagine, and who greets me? TV cameras! YAY!! As if I hadn't had enough, right? After that was over I found my parents and drove home.

I'm currently back on the ice. I'm not loving it so much right now, but I want to have a good Worlds experience to end my season. I will compete in Calgary, and I hope to compete in four years in Vancouver. In Calgary I'm putting the quad out again, and I'm gonna go for my best performances ever. I know I can do it. After the World Championships I'll be on tour until August, so if my updates are far and few between, forgive me! After Tour I'm hoping to take a vacation to Paris and Moscow and then start training again. Life never stops!

Before I end "Oy," I want to make a special note for everyone who has decided to take it upon themselves to be original and write Johnny Weir a hate mail. I've heard "pussy," "disgrace," "narcissistic," "faggot," "princess," "mentally unstable," embarrassment," "queeny," "I hope we're not related," "out of control," "retarded," "stupid," "queer," "ugly," and many many other lovely things, so try to be more original at least. Oh and F*** You too!

Okay, out with anger in with love. Everyone be safe, have fun and enjoy spring. Thank you so much for all your love and support, and please keep your fingers crossed for Calgary. Again, to those of you who've supported me, many many thank yous, and it is so appreciated and felt. I LOVE YOU!

-Johnny