Hi Everybody-
Thank you for visiting my site. I've been quite busy since my last journal entry and a lot has happened in my life. I am looking forward to going to Moscow and going on tour, and I am very confident that both will go well.
A few weeks after Nationals I participated in two fund raising events, one for tsunami relief and one for figure skating in Harlem. Tanith and Ben organized a benefit for the tsunami victims in Michigan and I was happy to go and share a performance for such a good cause. Tanith and Ben put on a great show with a lot of top name skaters, and the event came off without a hitch. I left directly from Michigan and went to New York City for a benefit on the ice at Wollman rink. I got to stay in a Donald Trump hotel and soak up a bit of New York chic before it was time to start working my ass off again. I was happy to be a part of the event which benefits figure skating in Harlem and spend an evening under the stars with many great people.
Training has been going really well. I don't think I've ever been in such good physical condition, and I'm looking forward to showing off my work in Russia. The quad toe has been great recently, so it may go into the free program for worlds. Mind you it may not, but I'm feeling more and more comfortable with the jump and in combination with other triple jumps. I've even landed some quad triple triple combinations, so if I don't do quad at worlds, for whatever reason, I will do it at a pro-am competition in Florida after worlds. I think my chances of skating three solid programs are good. I have only had a few rough days since Nationals and I know that I have put in the proper work and effort in becoming successful in Russia. I am really excited.
After worlds I will go on Champions On Ice again and tour the country. I am thrilled to be a part of such a great show once again, and I hope to bring some extra flavor to the tour.
I have been working on a new show program with Oleg Ovsiyannikov and Anjelika Kirchmeier. It is a Russian language song by Nikolai Karachinsov called "Yunona & Avoyc." The song is about a man leaving a woman that he loves and knows he'll never see her again. It is a sad song but has a beautiful tone to it and will really make a statement. Mr. Karachinsov was in a car accident recently and is in a coma, so the program will be a tribute to him if I make the gala at worlds. Oleg and Anjelika have done a great job with the choreography and they've really brought the piece to life. The program will be sort of a showcase number and I will only do it in Russia or at selected exhibitions.
That's all for now. Please keep your fingers crossed while I'm in Russia, and I'll try to give you guys something fun to watch!
Take care and all my love,
-J
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Hi Everybody-
Like usual, thank you for visiting my site and me for that matter. I have just returned from Moscow and the World Championships and have a little time to write because Lufthansa lost my luggage so I'm delayed going to tour rehearsals. It was a very tough week in Moscow, probably the most difficult of my career to this point, and I thought I'd write a bit about that.
I was so well trained and in shape for Moscow that I didn't think anything could knock me down. I was thinking of a possible medal with three strong performances and I wanted to make a place for myself in the eye of russian sports, but I suppose I'll have to wait. I arrived and nothing felt quite right. My practices weren't strong, I wasn't feeling well, and an old injury started to flare up and make me worry about the competition. I didn't say anything about how sore my foot had gotten because I didn't think anyone would believe me since I looked relatively normal and fine. By Sunday night I couldn't take it anymore. I told Priscilla and Patti, and everyone started to buzz. Tatiana found out as well and it seemed my whole world was in chaos trying to fix me. I had part of my skin shaved off of the bottom of my foot (sesmoids) to help relieve the pressure of the inflammation, and I was given a bunch of different pills and creams to try to be healthy for the qualifying the next day. I thought maybe I'd have a chance.
I went in for the training on Monday morning and I couldn't skate. I did maybe two laps around the rink and a single flip and I got off. I was completely broken hearted and I was thinking of withdrawing. I knew that it would greatly damage my integrity and everything I'd worked for if I wimped out and withdrew, so I decided to try. I got to the rink, not having practiced and received two injections in the bottom of my foot. I'm not usually one to cry when something hurts or isn't going my way, but I was a wreck in the medical room. The injections hurt so badly and from my left knee down was numb, so I still wasn't sure about my future in the competition. In any event, I competed. After the warm-up I was ready to call it a day and fly home the next day and completely forget that I'd been in Moscow, but Tatiana and Priscilla pulled me aside and made me believe in the fact that I could do it. I did do it. I was far from perfect and of course I wasn't pleased with imperfection, but I proved a lot to myself that day, and I believe that on that day, I became a champion.
The short program was the following day and I had decided not to have any more injections for no other reason than my foot couldn't take any more. I had also found out that there was a human error in the score calculations from the qualifying round and I had dropped to fourth place and wouldn't be in the last group. I once again had to tough it out, bite my lip, and pray for the best. It definitely wasn't my best. I fell on the triple axel, and I had no emotion or energy for the program. I was held up way too high and was in seventh after the short, and once again not in the final warm up group which was very disappointing. I had a day off in between the short and the free, so I had time to come down and relax.
I felt pretty good on the day of the long program, but because I hadn't done a lot of training since I'd arrived in Moscow, I was tired and the program suffered. One thing that was a good note was the fact that I landed a quad toe on the warm-up and am one step closer to putting it in the program. My program was a struggle. I landed all of my jumps, but I messed up a step sequence and all of my spins were bad, and I just didn't have enough power left inside me to make the podium. I didn't have any heart left to fight with and I guess it showed. I wound up placing fourth and I was disappointed with that placement. I had arguably had one of the best seasons of anybody this year, and I failed to medal at the biggest competition of the year, where I wanted to make the podium. I think in general the worlds were a competition of unachieved goals and imperfection. The strongest performances came from Lambiel, Slutskaia and Totmianina/Marinin, and I was happy to see all of them succeed to a gold medal.
On Sunday I was in the gala and was really excited to show off my new russian language gala number to a mainly russian audience. They received me with open arms and were cheering as soon as the singing started. I have never felt more accepted in any other country than in Russia, and I was so appreciative of the support they gave me. They cheered when I fell and when I landed, for practices and competitions, and I even had russian language signs in the audience; the russians were amazing hosts.
Besides the whole losing thing, I had a fun week. I got to go on many exciting excursions into Moscow and see parts of the city I'd never seen before. I met a lot of great people and went to some good parties. I had fun, but the injury and poor skating cast a big gray shadow over the fun. I like to separate life and skating because when they mix it sucks, but I just wasn't in any state to be excited about moving up from fifth a year ago to fourth this year, or securing three spots for next year's Olympic team or anything. It all meant nothing to me because I didn't do a good job.
As an ending to such a week, they lost all of my luggage on the flight home, so I've been sitting and doing nothing except waiting for my skates and costumes to come home. They came today so I'll leave for rehearsals tonight and start the tour on Saturday. I'm excited to do something fun for once and perform in front of great audiences. I also have one more competition to go, and I definitely hope to try quad toe for the first time in Florida.
I'm sorry if this journal entry wasn't bubbly or fun to read, but I'm not so bubbly myself right now. I hope everyone can come to see the tour and support everyone and have a great spring. I'll write again when tour is over and I'm sure I'll have some stories for you all.
Take care and much love,
-J
