Falls Church News-PressThe alarm clock’s unwelcome bleats begin at 6:17 a.m.

Five more minutes… 

The snooze button is beaten with the strength of a thousand gladiators. Five minutes later, the process is repeated. For 25 minutes more, like clockwork, the annoying chirping, the punching, and the glorious five-minute dreams occur until suddenly: Oh damn, I’m late!

Leaping from the bed, I run into the shower. For normal people a quick shower is five minutes or less; for me, it’s 35 minutes or less. As soon as every last hair is put into position, every spot on my face is concealed to flawless perfection, and an outfit is created that hasn’t been seen in public for at least six calendar months, I dash out the door to warm up my car.

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