Johnny’s World: Giggle
Falls Church News-Press: It’s cold. Here I stand, in the midst of a winter rainstorm, proudly letting the raindrops trickle off my eyelashes. I stare straight ahead blankly, the kind of early morning blank everyone knows and dreads.
Although I’m at the beginning of another performance in front of millions of bleary-eyed early risers, there are very few brave enough to forge their way through the storm to see me skate in a puddle, live. One breath of pure steam exits my pursed lips as the first electronic notes of my music play loud and clear. My hair, for the first time in my life, is gray and teased and curled to the point it looks like a Halloween wig or your aunt’s dearest companion, her poodle. My dress is decidedly understated, all black for maximum skinniness as I blast across people’s TV screens from Philadelphia to Topeka, Des Moines to Orange County. Despite the understated color, I look like a streetwalker in designer leggings that give the illusion of garters. My favorite pop diva’s voice comes blaring over the loudspeakers and I’m off, ice skating for millions.
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